How not to connect with anyone.
Recently attended a sermon.
I’m sitting alone when a very beautiful lady sits beside me.
I barely even took notice as I focused on the preacher’s words.
We exchanged smiles and that was it.
The preacher engaged in a conversational mood at that time.
He asked a question: “What happens when the heart is dirty? (In a medical sense)”
A few nurses answered but the answers were somewhat shady and unclear.
Then the lady beside me answers the question.
I sit there, in awe of what I just heard. I’m a fan of intelligence so I can’t resist but notice intelligent people.
Her answer wasn’t fancy. No medical jargon.
It was simple. Perfect for the understanding of everyone there. By the simplicity of it, I could only expect she’s an expert.
I knew I had to network with this lady.
A few hours pass and we’re still listening to the preacher, then I thought, let me say something;
“Are you into nursing?” I asked. She barely got me over the noise.
“Are you into nursing?” I asked again, slightly yelling, with a smile of course.
I barely heard what she said over the noise too so I assumed she said “Yes.”
“For how long?” I asked.
Thankfully she heard me this time. Normally this question works well when meeting people online. However, this time her response caught me off guard.
“It’s personal,” she said, her tone slightly guarded. I could see a hint of wariness in her expression as if she didn’t quite trust me enough to share that information.
I had no clue what to say. I just slowly pressed back on my seat while nodding, thinking about it.
An awkward moment of silence hung in the air between us, not forgetting the noise. I gave up on that conversation. The yelling wasn’t helping either.
…Why would you start a conversation in a loud place to start with?…
After a few moments, she leaned in, “I’m not quite sure I understand, do you want to know how long I’ve been in school or how long I’ve been working?”
Surprised at her immediate change, I play it safe;
“School.” I said.
I went on to figure out she was not a nurse but a lab technician. I started feeling kinda weird because she might have said it earlier.
In the end, I nodded and said thank you. Didn’t try to say anything else because I was still thinking about how it was a personal thing.
I do understand it’s alright for her to withhold that information, but what am I gonna do with it? It’s just a conversation starter, holding little significance at that time. Then again, it might be due to privacy concerns. I respect that.
So, that’s how I screwed up a chance to network.
Lessons?
- If you can, please introduce yourself.
- Plan but don’t rely on your planned conversation.
- Provide context. Don’t ask questions out of the blue.
