Talking to people should be easy and you can do it.
It should be easy to connect with someone.
It should be easy to talk to someone.
It should be easy to connect.
Social media has made talking to people more complex than it is. Placing strategies on the best way to DM, some of which work but really, are these tips something we use in person?
I found myself thinking about this a lot and I’ve come to a conclusion that beyond all the strategies, we can actually connect with the people we want to connect with.
But it is a worthy point to note that to talk to certain people, you need to become a certain person.
Want to talk to a celebrity? Become one.
Want to talk to a high-performance person? Become one.
It’s easier said than done, yet people still want to connect with someone when they don’t have the capacity to understand how the interaction between you and the person will seem like.
I’m not saying as a beginner, you shouldn’t strive to talk to and make connections with those above you, it’s just a little bit weird if you look at it from a different perspective.
You’re all the way down there and they’re all the way up there.
It might seem like a tough ladder to climb but putting in the work and being consistent will get you there.
What’re are the chances that you’ll message your favourite creator and he or she will reply?
Put yourself in their shoes, if you’re an owner of a multi-million dollar brand, and a newbie just DMs you and is probably either too egoistic or paranoid or begging, you wouldn’t probably reply.
These people have lives.
You have a life too.
It’s important not to over judge yourself on why they don’t reply to you. Stop seeing yourself as insignificant and small, when in fact you have a skill or a personality that some people will love.
I say some people because you certainly don’t want everyone to love you. If they do, you’re doing something wrong. It’s practically impossible for everyone to love you.
But your tribe, oh my God, your tribe loves you. These people love you. They want content from you. They want your personality. They want you for who are. They want you for who you have become and who you’re becoming. They want you for your insight and wisdom.
But to find your tribe, you need to get out there. Your tribe wants you to talk about what we call “generic content”, and they’ll love it and say it’s unique just because it came from you.
This is demanding, trust me. It takes a lot of effort to satisfy them. It takes a lot of effort to give your best all the time. But try my friend, try.
Remember the one who fails is the one who gives up.
Do not place a strategy in a place where human intellect and emotional sensitivity was supposed to be. DMing someone is as simple as approaching them in person.
Sure, some strategies work, but being you and implementing those strategies make you unstoppable and want-to-talk-able.
For me, I consider being humble, genuine, kind, and a little bit weird when DMing someone for the very first time. It gets their attention. It gets them thinking, who is this person?
When people find interest in you, it means you’re becoming someone. It’s easy to get offended or sad because someone didn’t reply to your message simply because you’re not at his or her level. It’s crucial to understand it is part of the process.
Look at the story of any person you admire and want to connect with, and you’ll find people they admire but can’t connect with. So don’t bother yourself too much about why someone won’t talk to you.
There are billions of people on the planet you could talk to that are interested in you. That want to work with you and have fun with you and build with you.
But of course, you have to understand, these things take time. It takes effort and it takes continual learning. It also requires sacrifice.
Talking to someone you admire might require some sacrifice. For example, the best way to get in touch with someone who has a course, is obviously to buy their course or offer help to make it better and you still have to take the course before you know if it needs a little help or not.
But the main idea is, building connections take sacrifice. I’ve had Chris Do and Daniel Priestly comment and like my posts on LinkedIn. How? I shared their knowledge with other people, with my network. I took a piece of their content and turned one into a single post and another a carousel.
I’ve done this several times and I’ve gotten some good acknowledgments but some of these people never engaged. I don’t even think they gave it attention or saw it but I’m okay with it. Because I realize that they have other things to do. They have better things to do.
I’m not saying my content wasn’t worth their time, but maybe they didn’t have the bandwidth or time to engage on my content and this goes for DMs too.
Try not to be sad or frustrated when you don’t get acknowledged for something you shared. It happens. More often than you think. But this is where consistency steps in.
Consistency in your craft and things you do. Consistency in becoming who you want to become. And all these things take time, effort and sacrifice.
I often, take on the mindset to “build it, and they will come.”
Every notable person you would want to connect with has built something great. That thing might have been what attracted you to them. This teaches you a lesson. To become valuable, build something valuable. Build a valuable brand.
Personal brand or corporate brand, it’s up to you. I personally prefer building a personal brand. Because we are humans and people follow people, not companies.
As a beginner, you’ve built nothing except for your skill. Offer it. Offer it for free. Help someone, let them tell others about you. That’s why it’s important to start with the mindset of helping someone.
It’s a logical move to help someone who knows who you want to talk to. This might be seen as manipulation to some, but I think it comes down to your intentions. If you simply “use” this person to get to the other person, that’s considered manipulation. But if you build trust and connection with a person, they’re more likely to help you out.
It’s all about helping. We’re here to serve and that’s it. There are no two ways about it. So, start by knowing your peers, then keep moving one step up. Just one step up. If you have the chance to skip a few steps, do it.
After all, life is short.
Do the things you want.
Meet the people you want to meet.
It’s a matter of mindset rather than whether the strategy worked or not. The purpose of me writing this, is to inform you that connecting with people is actually, easy. Just be you. Don’t be someone else.
You copied a template to use for DMing, great! Now make it yours, add your personality. That’s what we want. That is what everyone wants. Your personality.
People don’t want you to be a copy of someone. Simply be you and a lot of things will change on your end.
I sincerely appreciate you taking time out of your day to read this. I’m forever grateful to you for liking this. To practice what you just read, send me a message on LinkedIn. Remember to just be you. Be yourself, that’s all it takes.
It would be super helpful if you mentioned that you read this and also liked this. I have a goal to be on the medium daily digest. I don’t know how it’s going to happen, but I want to get there.
It’s not always a good idea to share your goals when you haven’t achieved them, but this is my open announcement to you that I will get there. With your help.
Thanks again for reading.
I appreciate you.
